Use this when caring is taking more than you can sustain, or when you need a plan for a break or an unexpected absence.
Notice the work you are already doing
Write down an ordinary day of support, including the tasks nobody sees: checking messages, rearranging work, organising transport or lying awake worrying. Notice the effect on sleep, health, relationships and money. You do not have to prove that the situation is bad enough to seek help.
Feeling exhausted, angry or less patient does not cancel your care for the person. Persistent low mood, poor sleep or physical symptoms deserve your own GP's attention. Do not assume every health problem is simply part of being a carer.
Choose one part of the load to change
Separate what is essential today from what can wait, be simplified or be shared. Ask what you are realistically able to offer. An honest limit is more useful than agreeing to support that is leaving you unwell.
For example: 'I can take you to Tuesday's appointment. I cannot cover every journey this month. Can we ask the service about other arrangements?' The aim is a workable arrangement, not a test of how much you love someone. If essential care depends on you, seek help to plan a safe handover.
Ask for a specific contribution
'I need more help' may be true but hard for someone else to act on. Try one clear request: a particular school pickup, a meal, an hour of company or help finding a service. Check what the other person can actually commit to, rather than assuming silence means agreement.
The person receiving support can take part where able, including attending care, explaining obstacles and following agreed safety advice. Impaired control can make change difficult; it does not mean every responsibility falls to you. Children should not become monitors of an adult's use or treatment.
Plan a break and a backup
A useful break needs practical cover where care is required. Decide what needs to happen, who has agreed to help and what to do if they become unavailable. You need not organise an elaborate holiday: protecting a medical appointment or an uninterrupted afternoon can matter.
Carer Gateway can discuss eligibility and local planned or emergency respite options on 1800 422 737. Suitable services may not be immediately available. If you become ill or cannot continue caring, explain that clearly and ask what support can be arranged. Emergency respite is different from calling 000 for immediate danger.
Get support for yourself, too
Your support does not have to wait until the other person accepts treatment. A GP, counsellor, family alcohol and drug service or peer group can help you think through your own needs. Ask for help with the practical problem you are facing, not only advice to look after yourself.
Supporting someone through addiction can require skills and support that nobody has taught you. Even experienced professionals can be affected by difficult care. Sharing responsibilities or arranging a supported handover may be better for both people. It is not a personal failure, and you do not have to wait until you are completely depleted.
Review whether the new arrangement actually reduced the load. If fear, threats or violence are involved, ordinary negotiation may be unsafe. You are not required to tolerate abuse. Seek individual safety support rather than trying to make a shared plan in an unsafe situation.
For health professionals
A place in the clinical conversation
Assess the supporter's health, workload, financial and safety concerns in their own right. The worksheet does not diagnose burnout or establish respite eligibility. A family member's wellbeing is a legitimate outcome, independent of the other person's treatment progress.
Use the sheet alongside your clinical assessment. It does not produce a diagnosis, measure risk or determine treatment. If seeking a specialist opinion, state the clinical question and relevant history using the usual referral pathway.